Buffalo turkey

So, the title is a little misleading. These were supposed to basically be buffalo wings, but HUGE because I was using turkey drumsticks.

Long story short, I didn't realize that I was out of hot sauce (which is the main ingredient in buffalo sauce) and so I was like "Whatever, I'll make my own!" and what ended up happening was a marinade.

Now, given, the marinade turned out to be amazing, but it's not actually really buffalo sauce.

So, after the cut: BLUFF-alo Turkey. (Get it? Because Buffalo would be a lie!)

Read more »

8 Pounds (without Will Smith)

Riiing. Riiing.
Hello?
Hi Saaaarah! It's your mother-in-law!
Oh, hi! What can I do for you?
I have a turkey for you!
Wh- what?
A turkey! I got one for Christmas and I don't want it.
A. A whole turkey?
Yeah. When can you come get it?

The food bank won't take it. My freezer is full. I have approximately two weeks to use an entire eight-pound roast turkey.


After the cut - step one: dismantling.

Read more »

Beautiful quote

Courtesy of SlmWinn:

"Only the poet never lies, because he never claims to tell the truth."

How to be happier Part 1: Stop Being Offended

Nobody out there has the KEY TO HAPPINESS, and if they tell you they do, they're lying. Don't give them your money. That being said, there are a few things that will make a lot of people a lot happier. A lot of those things involve changing the way that you think and act. Of course, these are just some guidelines - they won't work for everyone, they won't be perfect all the time, but they'll help.

That's why I won't be calling these "How to Be Happy". I don't know how to be happy - and I especially don't know how to make you happy. But I know how to be happier, so here you go.

Here's installment number one - Stop Being Offended - after the jump.

Read more »

Support Our Troops

Any American is fully aware of the phrase "Support Our Troops". We are aware of it because we see it every day on the backs of cars, on t-shirts, on little flags and plaques and signs. Now, it's easy to observe a division in the U.S. between people who do support the war and people who don't. The far sides make it onto the news on slow days. There's the "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" side - the same people who say "Thank God for AIDS". Then there's the "Kill 'em and Drill 'em" side - people who have basically carried over the initial war-frenzy after 9/11 to present-day. This group believes that we should just drop a nuke and let it go.

Oftentimes, we think of "Support Our Troops" as being closer to this second side, and for some it is - but hardly for all. We rarely think of this sentiment as being divided, but it is, and heavily so - and it bears thinking about.

Here are the sides (and I'm sure there are many facets, but this is the boiled down version):

- Support Our Troops! Bring them home!
 People who don't support the war, but who believe that we should be supportive of the men and women fighting overseas. These people see soldiers as people who signed up to protect our country and so on, who have been sent to fight a war by their superiors. During and after Vietnam, troops who had been sent overseas whether they wanted to be there or not came home to physical and verbal abuse by people who saw them as symbols of a war they saw as wrong. Oftentimes the soldiers involved in war aren't any more supportive of it than are the people at home - but it's either go overseas or go to jail, and they choose to go overseas.
The other part of this side is some anger. "Support Our Troops" from this side is partially directed at the U.S. government. The extended version is this: "Support our troops by sending them the supplies and information that they need, and by better organizing this war that you've started so that fewer of our loved ones will die because of your mismanagement." I had an extended correspondence with a close friend while he was overseas recently with the National Guard (I know, right? What's the National Guard doing overseas!?) and I can tell you: our government is not "supporting" our troops by this definition of support.
So, to people on the "Yellow Ribbon" side of "Support Our Troops", the phrase means "Give them what they need and bring them home ASAP."

- Support Our Troops! Keep them there!
 People who do support the war, and who believe that soldiers are symbols of that war. They believe that we should send over as many troops as possible, funnel as much money into those troops as possible, and win the hell out of this war. I don't have as much of an explanation for this one - that's all I really have to say about it. To these people, troops=fighters, and supporting troops=supporting the fight.



Which side do you think is actually more supportive from the soldiers' perspectives? Which side do you identify with more closely (if either)? Is there another side that I've missed?

Things You Wonder About - Body hair

Ever wonder when women's body hair became a thing to be removed? It certainly hasn't always been considered gross. Well, wonder no more! Your questioning minds can rest easy:

Around 1915, sleeveless dresses and bathing suits became acceptable and eventually popular. A new door was opened for marketing folks who had long been advertising shaving products to men: women were now prime targets. While they had never worried about underarm hair before, now their underarms could be exposed (”underarm”, by the way, was a scandalous word until somewhere around mid-1915 to 1916). Marketers teamed up with fashion magazines to “teach” America that having bare pits was a necessary part of being a fashionable, attractive lady.

Legs were a different story – until WWII started, women were just not convinced that leg-shavery was a necessary part of life, regardless of campaigns aiming to convince them that it was. In WWII, though, a cloth shortage necessitated the shortening of skirts – and wearing short skirts became the patriotic thing to do, because it meant more cloth was available for the men overseas. The short skirts were usually worn either with sheer stockings; or with bare legs that had been powdered and that had a line drawn up the back of each leg to imitate the seams on stockings. Neither one looked particularly good with dark, coarse leg hair poking out – so leg-shaving became A Good Thing for Ladies.

Read WAY MORE after the jump...

Read more »

Things You Can Do with Won Ton Wrappers, part 2

I came home tonight jonesing for ravioli. Alas! I had not thawed my beloved spinach and ricotta ravioli from Costco!
I peered despondently into the depths of the refrigerator and my eyes alit upon the following items:

Won Ton Wrappers
Cooked ground turkey
Pesto
Shredded Monterey jack cheese
Leftover stuffed mushroom filling (breadcrumbs, mushrooms, parsley, and cheese)
An onion

And I realized that I could make Turkey and Pesto Raviolis.

Read more »

Things You Can Do with Won Ton Wrappers, part 1

This kind of thing *always* seems to happen to me. I placed a grocery order for a client, and that order included one package of Won Ton Wrappers. And they delivered four. And the client, in an act of generosity, said "hey, keep three, why don't you?"

So now I have three packages, each containing forty-eight won ton wrappers. And I do not like won tons, or won ton soup, or any of it.

So here is the Won Ton recipe for tonight - this one uses up 24 wrappers:
Cranberry Tarts with Baked Brie.

You need:
A muffin tin (or two), with enough tin-parts to accommodate 24 muffins.
Cranberry sauce
Brie
24 God-forsaken won ton wrappers
Cooking spray (you can brush on oil in place of cooking spray if you have a problem with using it)

Step 1 - Spray the muffin tin.

Step 2 - Put a won ton wrapper into each muffin tin - the corners should stick up over the edge of each cup.

Step 3 - Spray the edges of each won ton wrapper with cooking spray.

Step 4 - Bake the wrappers at 350F for about 13 minutes (until the bottoms of the wrappers start to brown)

Step 5 - While your wrappers are cooking, cut the rind off of the brie, and cut it into 1" cubes.

Step 6 - When your wrappers are done cooking, place 1 cube of brie into each cup, and then bake for another 3-5 minutes with a sheet of foil over everything to avoid burning.

Step 7 - Pull it out of the oven and right before you serve it, put a spoonful of cranberry sauce on top.

Done!
That's 24 down, 120 to go.

It's relevant, okay?!

http://trekmovie.com/2009/12/18/patrick-stewart-to-be-knighted/

Finally! If they can knight Elton John, then they can darn well knight Patrick Stewart.
And now they are.

Cider

I remember when I was a kid, my dad would sometimes make spiced cider around the holidays. I'm sure it was really only a few hours - but in my memory, the cider took forever to make and no time at all to drink.
So here is the easiest way in the world to make spiced cider - plus a few delicious variations - for your viewing and, later on, drinking pleasure.

Super Easy Spiced Cider
1 gallon of apple cider (sold right next to apple juice)
24 whole cloves and  3 cinnamon sticks, wrapped in cheesecloth
1 cup orange juice
.5 cup lemon juice

Combine everything in a big ol' saucepan and bring to a simmer. Simmer for one half hour and serve it up!

Cider with a kick


Many people like to spend a lot of time carefully doctoring their cider - and some ferment it to make "hard cider", which is a little more legit than this variation. However, it's just as easy, and just as tasty, to add 2 cups of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum per gallon of apple cider. I highly recommend using the Spiced rum, because it doesn't take anything away from the cider's flavor, but adds just a little bit of bite.

Cranberry cider

Replace the apple cider with .5 gallons of cranberry juice cocktail and .5 gallons of apple juice. The apple juice provides some necessary sweetness to the cider.

Sparkling cider

Who here wants to have sparkling cider without paying for the fancy bottle? If you raised your hand, here you go: add either a little club soda (about 2 cups per gallon of cider) or, if you're going for the "sparkling cider with a kick", add champagne in the same proportion.

Tomorrow, more super-easy and super-impressive holiday recipes!

Christmas gift bags!

When I have a big group of people to give little presents to, I always turn to this thoughtful, homemade, but blessedly simple set of gift bags. All you need is a little bit of skill with a spoon, and you can turn fifteen dollars worth of groceries into gifts for ten people!

Read more »

My problem is occasional irregularity.

Did reading the subject line of this post make you feel really, horribly uncomfortable? Did you look away from the screen, embarrassed and bewildered?
Me too.
No, this isn't going to be a post about my stomach's adventures with dairy. This is a post about something that is destroying the country that we live in. Something that has to stop.
Activia commercials.

Read more »

Unmasked

Tonight I talked to my BFF Swin about a feeling that I commonly have - the feeling that pretty soon, everyone is going to figure out that I'm not the person they think I am - that they'll figure out that I'm not smart and don't deserve to be successful in school and business, and have been faking it all along

I told Swin and her eyes lit up. She's heard of this - it's a thing amongst young professionals. Because, the truth is, in business and in most learning, you're making it up as you go along. But some of us feel like we are making it all up - like we are fooling everyone into thinking that we're smart. 

It was once thought that only young women suffered from this Impostor Syndrome, but in fact, it occurs in equal rates among young men. People with Impostor Syndrome are incapable of internalizing success, but are great at internalizing failure. Regardless of the amount of awards and promotions and good grades that the young man or young woman receives and achieves, he or she simply does not believe that any of it has been earned. Instead, it has been swindled and conned out of the person giving it. 

For example: I was accepted into an amazing and elite acting school. When I was accepted, was that validation of my acting abilities? No - it was validation of my ability to trick the audition judge into thinking that I was a good actress.

I haven't been able to find any information on this facet, but I'm wondering about something. If I have a legitimate illness - for example, I have epilepsy - I will easily convince myself that I must be faking it somehow as an excuse to get out of things. Regardless of the fact that an EEG proved epileptic activity in my brain, a large part of me believes that I've done something to make it seem like I have epilepsy, and that I am using epilepsy as an excuse not to go out clubbing with my friends and so on. Right now, I have leg pain that may be a stress fracture. Part of be believes that it is a stress fracture - and part of me feels like I am only believing that because I want an excuse to quit my recent hobby of running, because I can't do it.

What do you think? Do you suffer from Impostor Syndrome? Do you think that the "no excuses" feeling is a factor?

Balancing business and home life part 1

This will be a recurring theme on this blog - but I think that this, the meatiest part of the holiday season, is the perfect time to start discussing how to balance business and home life. Speaking as an independent business woman, I can readily admit that it's darned overwhelming to be working hard at work and at home. It always seems like if my dishes are going to get done, then my conference call will have to wait.

After the jump, find my first five best ways to balance the two mot joyful and burdensome parts of my life.

Read more »

Patrick Stewart on domestic violence

Astoundingly moving speech by Patrick Stewart (my hero) about his childhood and his experiences with domestic violence.
I do not cry, but this speech moved me to tears.

Princess and the Frog

So, I went to see Princess and the Frog tonight.
On the one hand, I was SOOO excited, because it's the first hand-drawn Disney movie in ages, and so it was showing a lot more promise than, say, "Fly Me to the Moon".
On the other hand, I was pretty worried, because Disney doesn't exactly have a great track record when it comes to their African-American characters. In fact, their track record is pretty horrific (Song of the South, anyone? I rest my case.)


Well, I went to see it, and there is a review with some very minor spoilers after the jump.

Read more »

Expired

Here's something gross that happened to me today:
I had some dry hands and so I put a little lotion on that I happened to have around.
There is no way for me to couch this in a nicety: my hands smelled like a butt. Not as in, "this lotion is scented and I don't like the smell." More like, "this lotion is made of a butt, and now it's on your hands. Nice job."

So I decided to find out something that had never occurred to me before - the expiration date on lotion. Normally, I go through the stuff quickly enough that it's not a problem, but this was a bottle that my fella just so happened to have around from before we ever met - so, yeah, it's pretty well done. 

After the cut: All kinds of unexpected expiration dates that I am glad to know about:

Read more »

"Merry speculumukkah, sweetie!"

I am dead certain that this PSA from CBS cares is a hilarious way to counter the unbelievable recent announcement by the U.S. Preventative Services Task Force.

You know the one - the announcement saying "Hey, women under fifty - don't bother paying attention to your breasts! No Mammograms - oh, and don't even bother with self-exams."

The same one that is currently "looking into the validity of" cervical cancer screening. I haven't been able to find the part of the announcement that mentioned pap smears - and it may well have been rescinded or simply incorrect - but when I saw the announcement, I saw a secondary portion stating that women under the age of 21 shouldn't bother getting pap smears.

After recieving immediate backlash from the medical community, the USPSTF released another announcement saying that they were only addressing women who are at average risk levels.


Speaking from the perspective of a woman who is considered to be at an average risk level, I can say - this is some bullshit.

 More after the jump.

Read more »

"Skinny"

Over the past four days, a family member has been in the hospital, and I've been spending all of my time in the wonderfully accommodating halls and ICU rooms of the Stanford Medical Center. I've spent two of those nights at home, and on one of them, I happened to step on the scale. I realized that over those four days, I've lost about four percent of my body weight.

That's pretty scary stuff - but when I told a friend about it, he said "I don't know if I should congratulate you or not." To me, it feels obvious that this is not something to celebrate - this quantity of unexpected, uninvited weight loss is startling at best - but his response highlights the biggest issue that I as a writer am facing right now.

More after the jump.

Read more »

Innnnn the red corner

Okay, so I just posted a new viewpoint from the don't-let-the-gays-marry-each-other perspective.


In my research for the same paper, I found a really good point for the let-the-gays-marry-each-other perspective that I also hadn't heard before, that really should be used more often. It refutes the argument that states "marriage is a contract between a man and a woman and always has been". There's also a stellar refutation of "marriage is an institution meant for procreation" argument.


It's all after the jump!

Read more »

As-yet-new argument against same-sex marriage

Allow me to preface this by saying that I am completely pro-right-to-marry - I think that restricting the institution of marriage to heterosexual couples is totally ridiculous, and the restriction simply cannot last for long.


That being said, in doing research for my final project in a critical thinking class, I had to read some articles written by the opposing side. I picked one that seemed well-written and dove right on in. I don't have any problem with hearing the other side, but I was expecting to hear the same tired old arguments about undermining the institution of marriage and how homosexuality is unnatural and blah blah blah.


This article presented an argument that I have never heard before - and it contained information that I had never heard before, which is kind of cool.
More after the jump.

Read more »

Cooking with Lavender

I’m at the farmer’s market one day in midsummer, and I’m passing the fresh herbs stand.

The urge takes hold. I can’t help myself. I have no choice but to buy a big bunch of lavender and a giant bushel of mint.

I take them home and make a lovely arrangement in my living room, with a big clear glass vase – lavender in the middle, mint around the outside, very nice. My living room smells like heaven. I spend two weeks making mint tea, and then the mint goes all brown and gross so it gets the compost treatment.

The lavender, on the other hand, dries. Perfectly preserved, fragrant, wonderful lavender – and a whole lot of it. So, not wanting to be wasteful, I decide to hang onto it – all of it goes into a nice little ziplock bag in my herb drawer.

…now what?

COOK WITH IT IS WHAT! After the jump, you will find what you have undoubtedly been searching for your whole life: Five recipes featuring my best blossom.

Read more »

Pouf v. loofah

Two prominent shower items perform essentially the exact same purchase – the loofah sponge and the shower pouf. So who gives a crap what you use to exfoliate?

I do.

Here’s the deal, everyone: loofahs are gross. They are inherently yucky and I won’t stand for them any longer. I think that education is the key to change, so allow me to introduce you to the menace to society that is…

The Loofah: Shower Villain

More commonly known as the Luffa, the shower sponge that you use to clean off a layer or two of dead skin is in fact a dried seed pod. It goes like this: The luffa plant, which is related to cucumbers and pumpkins, flowers in an annual cycle. When the flowers are pollinated, they grow into a cylindrical fruit that eventually mystically transforms into a fibrous seed pod. When the pod is skinned, it goes from being the luffa plant to being your loofah sponge.

The loofah acts just like the rough backside of your kitchen sponge. Ever notice how whenever you wash a dish that has a bunch of food stuff still on it, the backside of your kitchen sponge seems to change color permanently and never ever lets go of that spaghetti sauce or peanut butter or pie crust? Well, the sponge has a nice tight construction, and the only way for the junk that gets in the sponge to get out is – oh wait, it can’t. Unless the crap that goes from your plate onto your sponge decides for some reason not to stick, it’s going to stay put. Using super hot water and antibacterial soap when you do dishes is a decent way to keep your sponge from being a typhoid factory, by the way – but you can’t always do the same thing with your loofah.

So, it’s the end of a long hard day. You’re sweaty and completely gross, and you get into the shower and scrub off with the loofah. All your stink of the day goes into that loofah, and probably about 40% of that stink and flesh stays put. It sticks to the organic fibers, and makes friends with all kinds of bacteria in the warm, humid environment of your bathroom. The next day, you add another layer of gross, and then more bacteria.

It is gross. It is a big gross ball of gross. The end.

So I don’t use Loofahs, ever. But I love to exfoliate – it’s a marvelous feeling, one of my favorites. I can’t exactly take a ball of steel wool into the shower with me. So what’s a girl to do?

The pouf is the answer. Also known as a puff or a poof, this little ball of nylon netting is the perfect replacement for a loofah. The fibers of the netting are slick, as opposed to the rough fibers of the loofah, which hang on to skin cells and other detritus. All it takes to keep a pouf clean is a rinse at the end of each shower, and if you hang it from a shower hook, it drips bone-dry because water simply runs off of the smoother material. It works up a better lather than loofahs do because it doesn’t absorb the soap. The shelf life of a pouf can be as much as three times that of a loofah – more if you don’t use it every day. And (this is perhaps the most important facet of the pouf) they come in about a gazillion different colors.

Oh yeah, and for those of you squeaky-clean readers who are going green? A pouf spreads out your shower gel or liquid soap about twice as much as a loofah does, and you throw out poufs with a third of the frequency, meaning emptier landfills all around.

boy toys v. girl toys

On contexts.org/socimages today: an article about a toy website which shows girls playing with toys that are traditionally for boys - toy tools and measuring tape, toy FBI outfits, binoculars, and so on. 
I love this article because at the very end, it addresses a reverse-sexism thing that comes up with our children. While Heteronormative roles are still encouraged heavily by gender-biased toys (girls get barbies and boys get G.I. Joes, etc.), we are seeing a leaning toward girls getting to play with "boy" toys - just like on this website. The article points out that while boys on the site are shown playing with traditional "girl" toys, it's just not as common.


So I'm posting my comment from the site again here, to open up the floor:


 “Most people are less likely to think boys are being treated unfairly by not seeing images of boys playing with dolls or an Easy Bake oven…”

I love your observation here! Because of the dominance in our society of men, women have been getting a lot of boosts to take over more traditionally male roles – but men are still confined to those same dominant roles. When a man wears an apron and is cooking and cleaning, it’s weird to our society – But a woman mowing the lawn is empowered.
If a man chooses to take over traditionally female roles (i.e., being a “house husband”), is he empowering himself in the same way that women have been empowering themselves by taking over traditionally male roles?

Source material after the jump.

Read more »

ROAAAAR (did you hear me?)

So, the minute I hit "publish" on my last post, I started freaking out.
What if people don't agree with me? What if it seems like I'm being insensitive and not supporting everyone?
I went and freaked out to S. about it, and a little debate followed. Every time that we reached a point of disagreement, my first instinct was to say "oh, yes, of course, you're right, my bad."

I'm going through the same dilemma right now as I'm typing this with a friendly debate on a feminist-oriented blog posting. I'm chatting about sexism in dance (which I consider an aesthetic thing rather than a gender-stereotyping thing, but which I am getting a lot of alternate viewpoints on, and am getting recommended study material for). Every time that a less-friendly phrase slips into my debate-partner's language, this part of me says "Conflict imminent! RUNAWAY!" - even behind the anonymity of the internet.

Let's take a deeper look behind the jump.

Read more »

Response to article - "Lincoln University Mandates Fat Hate"

[Ed for explanation] – In this post, you’ll see a metric crapton of editor’s notes. That’s because I’m TOTALLY open to changing my ideas and articles based on your feedback. I’m sure as heck not trying to be mean to anyone, and if something seems unclear or simply should have been said, I’m going to put this little “Ed.” thing in there, along with a thank-you note to whoever drew the issue to my attention.

Everyone is entitled to their own outrage, natch. But I tend to disagree with outrage most of the time, and this is no exception.

Okay, here's the situation - my parents went away on a week’s vacation aaaand they left the keys to the brand new porsche  Lincoln University is mandating physical fitness courses with those students who have a BMI of 30 or above. The fitness course is three hours per week. 

Here's the outrage: people are saying that this constitutes "fat hate" - that is to say, discrimination against people who are fat. 

Here's my major disagreement with the outrage: If a student coming into a college does poorly in the math section of the entrance exam, they are required to take a low-level math course so that they will be up to par with the rest of the student body. Similarly, if a student coming into Lincoln university tests poorly in terms of physical fitness, they get put into a fitness course.

[ed. To address commentary from various sources.] Now, let’s be totally clear on the policy: students are initially placed based on BMI. Those students who feel (and rightly so) that BMI* is an inaccurate measurement can choose to submit a waist measurement in order to be removed from the class. Those students who still feel that they don’t belong in the class can then test out of it.

This makes the class much more of a health encouragement thing than a skinny encouragement thing. [ed., MANY thanks to Stadam for a wonderful brainstorming session on this:] It would be perhaps – okay, no, it would almost definitely – be a much better option to base placement in the class upon cardiovascular health – that way the “skinnies” would have to get healthier too. I myself would have been put in the class as of a year ago, before I really started taking control of my health – and I wasn’t in the “obese” range of the oh-so-very-reliable BMI chart.

Frankly, I commend Lincoln for doing their part to fight the obesity problem in our country. [ed. For clarity, thanks Ashley]And before I go any further – talking about “obese” and “fat” are two very different things in my vocabulary. “Fat” describes a wide range of body types, going from slightly overweight to morbidly obese. “Obese”, on the other hand, is a medical definition – someone whose health is being negatively affected by their weight.

So, yes, it's wrong to assume that people are of less value because they're obese, but this whole "fat pride" movement really gets me worked up. People who choose to remain obese are choosing to open themselves up to a myriad of health issues, and it’s a very realistic form of self-harm that is being actively encouraged [ed., thanks Ashley and Michael]. While there are many fat people who do not have health problems, they are statistical rarities, on the far ends of the bell curve. Having a bit of extra padding is whatever, but obesity and food addiction are serious problems in our society, and have to be addressed as such. 

Students are upset at being singled out for these fitness programs. Frankly, I feel like the obese in America have a few choices on their hands - Go to Lincoln and get put into the fitness class. Don't go to Lincoln and take charge of their own lives, and get healthy on their own. Or, don't go to Lincoln, stay obese [ed., thanks Ashley]. Note that two of those choices are "don't go to Lincoln".

*BMI: Bullshit Measuring… Indigo? I can’t think of a clever “I”, but you get the idea.

Opinions, go!

Links to the original two articles after the jump.

Read more »

Cranberry madness

Cranberry sauce.

I remember when I was a kid, my family Thanksgiving included a can of “cranberry sauce”, sliced and laid out on a platter. My sisters and I would fight over who got the last slice – we were big fans. But then one year, my dad decided to make the real stuff, and since then I haven’t been able to look back.

And neither has he – it’s shockingly easy to make absolutely delicious cranberry sauce, and the recipe only has three ingredients: Sugar, Water, and fresh or frozen Cranberries. Sound boring? Learn how to spice it up after the jump.

Read more »

The Companionship of Cat and Mouse

Fairy Tales are not nearly as nice as Disney made them seem. Uncle Walt took a series of absolutely terrifying stories and made them friendly to a Twentieth century family. The original fairy tales of olden days were designed not only for children, but also for adults, and rarely contained a happy ending – even if the protagonist did come out on top, the antagonist was sure to suffer a horrific and explicitly detailed fate. What’s that, you say? An example? Well, in the original Snow White, the wicked stepmother has a special pair of iron shoes crafted for her. They’re heated until they are red-hot, and then she gets to dance in them at Snow White’s Wedding until she drops dead – presumably while being tormented by fuzzy bunnies and chirping songbirds.

Sometimes, though, the protagonist doesn’t get to come out on top either – and there doesn’t seem to be any lesson to be learned from the story. Instead, we get to hear a tale of good ol’ fashioned “life’s a bowl of lumpy oatmeal and even after you eat it, you still can’t poop” suffering. Here’s one of my favorite examples, straight out of my Big Book of Brothers Grimm, right after the jump.

Read more »